What if I don't turn out??

The Art of Breaking.

At times i find my mind unwinds and i don't think when i walk,
Run into things and fall down
It's coming around again and i've found sometimes
I don't think when i talk
And put my foot in my mouth
And sometimes when i, i look at me
And wish i could be somebody else
Sometimes i throw myself and let go, but never no
Intention to see a picture of me and trap myself

All this time, we've been mislead,
...Does anyone care at all?

Sometimes i fall asleep and then i lose control
I try to find my way out without letting go
And will i lose my mind if it comes back this time?
If i dont turn out perfect will you be a friend of mine?

It's coming around again and i've found sometimes i sit
When i should get up and just walk away
Sometimes i pretend and act like i do
But don't listen to a word you say
And sometimes when i start talking out loud
Should just shut my mouth and walk away
Sometimes i feel like maybe it's real and think like nobody else
Too close to myself and suffocate

Are you ready to crawl out?
Are you ready to take my hand and see?
Are you ready to crawl out?
From within the slow bleed?
From within the slow bleed?
From within the slow bleed?
Take this away from me

--Thousand Foot Krutch: Slow Bleed
Album: The Art of Breaking
Year: 2005

Thousand Foot Krutch's song "Slow Bleed" is written for the angst-ridden teen culture. It's a hard-rock song that follows their signature style of digging to the heart of the matter with a heavy beats, strong chords, and lyrics that don't pull punches.

The main lyric of the song somehow struck a chord with me today. If you should happen to be a fan of TFK, you probably know the context with which this was quoted. But for those that don't I've quoted it in-context above.

"If I don't turn out perfect, will you be a friend of mine?"

Put yourself in the culture of people roaming the streets today. What hope do they have? What help do they have? What would they be thinking? They see no future. They see no hope. They see themselves slowly bleeding (emotionally and physically). Death, in some cases, is unavoidable. It's coming, they see no way to resolve it, and it feeds itself into a downward spiral... a slow bleed down to the depths of insanity.

Yet when they turn to the church -- the supposed safe-haven for those who have no hope -- what do they see? Groups of men in suits, without a flaw. There is no one that they see that could possibly relate to their situation.

Christ wasn't like that. He was there. Real. Was he perfect? Yes. But he still put himself in their shoes and displayed humanity.

Yet, I am not perfect. What right do I have -- if God himself didn't try to air his own perfection -- to fake being perfect to save face? It's time I be real before everyone.

I have to be real to my family and friends, first of all. I hide my dirty little secrets thinking that if I tell them about ALL that I am, they might be offended, hurt, or even run away screaming, not knowing what I used to be. If I don't turn out perfect, will you be a friend of mine?

I have to be real with those I meet. I can't say that I am any better than I am. I have to clothe myself in humility. If I put on an air of superiority (when in reality I am not!!) I may be pushing someone I don't know back down into their own version of "slow bleed."

I have to be real. Period.

As you read my posts in the next few weeks... if I don't turn out perfect, will you be a friend of mine?

It doesn't matter, to be honest. Christ has already stood over me, offering me a hand out of my own "slow bleed". He pulled me out of my own tar pit, and cleansed me from my lies, my lust, my shame. He is a friend of mine. He hasn't run off screaming, but instead holds me safely in his arms.

Are you bleeding (emotionally) and not finding hope? I can't say I'm better than you. As you'll soon see, I'm no better than ANYONE. I can't judge you for fear of being under judgement myself. But I can say that there is hope.